Saturday, March 2, 2013

Bittersweet.

Bittersweet doesn’t even begin to describe the emotions we are feeling right now. I’m pretty sure I have never experienced something that could bring two totally different/opposite feelings. To be honest, it’s a little difficult to sort through, which is why I was so thankful for our three weeks in Thailand where time for reflection ran with abundance. 2013 is definitely a year of change for our family. We are joyously celebrating Baby V, moving back to America, starting new jobs (whatever they might be), and settling in to our “home” culture again. So many new things are coming our way.

​In a little less than a week, I’ll be boarding a plane bound for America... Just me and my baby bump. Cody will have to stay here for three months to help finish as much of the semester as possible. This is the beginning of our whirlwind of change. To be honest, I’m dreading next Friday. I’m dreading saying “see ya soon-ish” to my husband, dreading saying goodbye to dear teammates, to the place we call home, to the people that He has allowed us to love, to this country that He has so given us a heart to serve, and to the dream of living here for a long, long time. While I dread this so much, I look forward to it because I know it’s one step closer to holding our little man in our arms and I’ll get to enjoy seeing family and friends; and of course, eating some yummy food is on my radar as well.

​A couple of months ago, we began to feel an unsettling in our spirits about being here next year. We really can’t explain it other than that. We just simply did not have peace and we really didn’t know why. We spent some intentional time really seeking Him about this because we want to be where He wants us. He continued to confirm that He has something else for us for next year. It was hard to make sense of this. I was wrestling with all kinds of questions in my heart. Why would we move again when we are finally feeling settled? What would we do in America? Even to the point of, who are we if this is not us? It has definitely been a good lesson of finding our purpose and security in Him instead of what He has called us to. Really, it would have been much easier for us to stay here. We have a home set up, a job, and neat opportunities all around us. But He called us to surrender and go WHEREVER he leads us, even if it’s back to America.

We are beginning to see His plan unfold right before us and things are becoming clearer as to why He was leading us to America. Some big things are happening in our school, not so good things, so now we know that change was inevitable. Our gracious Father just let us in on it a little earlier, and we are so thankful for that insight. What a great reminder that He is faithful to lead His children and we can most definitely trust how He leads.

So, what’s next!? We have no idea really. We’re still waiting to hear what our next step is. We are praying about a specific potential opportunity, but we are not sure what that would even completely look like, so for now we are waiting and praying. There are a few things the Father has revealed to us and we know it to be true.

1. He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or even imagine according to His power that is at work within us…
2. We should do whatever has the greatest Kingdom impact.
3. We will be blessed (not necessarily monetary) when we believe that He will do what He said He would do.
4. Let your faith be bigger than your fear.
5. “Trust completely in Him, and when he brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it. “ –Oswald Chambers.

So, the Father is bringing us to new opportunities of adventure and we are once again holding on and riding along to see where/what He has for us next. Life sure is an adventure when we are following Him.

We absolutely covet your prayers during this time of transitions. It is so easy for us to be overwhelmed by all of the changes and unknowns. Our desire is to cling to Him and to trust Him to provide whatever it is we need for today, nothing more and nothing less.